Pick and Choose Carefully


Today’s art: Cala Lily, 11″ x 14″, Watercolor on 140 lb cold press paper, WIP, Available
Today’s Soundtrack: Let Go, Frou Frou

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe…” ~Barbara DeAngelis

I dislike conflict. Some people might be surprised to hear that because I am very quick to speak my mind. But the truth is, I pick and choose my battles very carefully. I will not engage unless I have an investment in the person I am talking to. That means I will not be arguing politics with the stranger at the corner market. Although I have defended several clerks being abused by customers. That’s a matter of defending those who are unable. I am obligated to do that. The other time I’ll argue with someone I have no investment in is when I hear racist comments. Yeah, that can’t be helped. But otherwise, I’m not wasting my time, energy, or peace to bring up topics that have the potential for conflict.

When I need to bring up a problem in a relationship, I have contemplated the best way to discuss it. I’m ready for the discomfort. I have probably looked at worst case scenarios. I have contemplated potential results of broaching the subject. Most often, I’m dealing with someone with whom I have an investment, be it financial or emotional, and in turn they have an investment in me.

If I honor the relationship, it is my obligation to cultivate it. Care for it. Nurture it. Pull the weeds. To pay attention to it’s growth, or lack of it. If I don’t, the relationship will not have integrity. Depth. I must insert myself. Sometimes that means selecting, choosing, to fight. To fight for the relationship.

To speak your truth is honorable. Even if you don’t get the desired result. That’s because speaking your truth, is effort.
And effort is always your attempt at the right thing. It denotes honor.

Follow the string.

Effort is everything.


With love,


About PamelaDevine

Pamela Devine is a singer songwriter, fine artist, and filmmaker. View all posts by PamelaDevine

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