Equal Exchange…


Today’s art: Untitled Nude, Watercolor. Sold. Print Available
Today’s Soundtrack: Vikingman, Rodrigo Y Gabriela

Women’s rights is not only an abstraction, a cause; it is also a personal affair. It is not only about us; it is also about me and you. Just the two of us.” ~Toni Morrison

My topic for today is equality. It’s easy to feel frustrated or angry when it is obviously lacking, such as when a verdict is handed down that seems too lenient (or too harsh,) when a kid gets bullied at school, or when rules or laws offer protection to businesses rather than people.

How do you react when there is a lack of equality toward you?

I can tell you how I react. I am generally frustrated by it. But it’s only a precursor to the real emotion of it; anger.

Ah, anger.

That is one scary emotion. Anger is not just a destructive emotion. It’s a warning. A signal that something’s wrong. There’s an injustice. Now are one’s perceptions always accurate? No. That’s why how you respond to your anger is really important to your relationships. I remember explaining to my daughter early to be very careful when she was angry because that’s when she had unusual strength. She learned that the hard way (as many of her lessons were) when she threw a toy horse because it was the closest thing to her at that moment. It broke. And she hurt herself because I was not able to fix the horse. I wish I could have, because that would have been a good lesson, too. When she was older, I encouraged her to write letters to the friend she was struggling with when she felt angry. Then I asked her to read the letter out loud. In the places where she was insulting or lacked intellect, I told her to remove her anger and replace it with facts, to stay on task, and to state why she felt things were unfair and to use phrases such as, “that makes me feel” or “it hurts me when…” I knew she had really gotten my message when during one particularly difficult letter writing session she declared in complete disgust, that she had to rewrite the letter because she heard my voice telling her to not insult. I felt like she had some good arguing skills at that point.

Standing up for yourself is not easy. Especially when the person has power over you. These are the people you have an investment in. Either emotional or financial. In fact, it’s really scary. Most people don’t stand up for themselves until they are so angry that they have super powers. That is not the best time to have a fight. Lot’s of damage can be done. As they say, cooler heads will prevail.

Of course, I’m big on writing letters. I mean the plural letters. The first letter I call verbal barfing. You may write in bullet points. Random thoughts regarding the situation. No regard for spelling, punctuation, or sentence structure. It becomes a purge. It’s a very good thing. It is not intended to be read by anyone other than you. The second letter will have clearer sentence structure and will still be full of pain. The third letter will have a comfort to it the others do not. That’s because the magic of writing is that somewhere along the way you connect with your higher source and some clarity starts to shape the more your write. A catharsis is taking place. The pain can be evaluated much more objectively. This is so effective, you may not to even have to deliver the final letter. The process of writing can be enough to remove the conflict within. Or at least diffuse it. The side benefit to writing these letters is that they can assist you in the formulation of thoughts as a face to face confrontation is taking place.

As a blog writer, writing for the benefit of blog readers, I do believe I am preaching to the choir.

: )

It’s your day. Go get it.


With love,

I am grateful today for the ability to form my thoughts and concerns, for alternative ways to make a living, my awesome car, trash day (get it out of here!), to have someone to contemplate the future with.

If you enjoyed this post, please enjoy the archived posts, share on Twitter and Facebook, follow this blog,and consider purchasing some of my art. : )

About PamelaDevine

Pamela Devine is a singer songwriter, fine artist, and filmmaker. View all posts by PamelaDevine

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