A Tribute to My Father.

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I have a remarkable father.

When I was 7 years old, my mother left my father, my two older brothers, and me. Before she left, she planned out that each of us kids would be placed in someone else’s care. I was to go live with my mother’s sister. The younger of my two older brothers was to live with my paternal grandparents, and my oldest brother was slotted to go to boarding school. My father thought the suggestion that he was incapable of taking care of his children was insulting and we were not split up. I admire him for that choice more than I can express.

But that isn’t what I want to talk about today.

My father has been extremely generous to me monetarily. Often because I had gotten myself into a financial jam, other times because he believed I was worthy of such generosity.  Some people might say I’ve been spoiled.
I would not deny it.

But my father’s generosity is not what I want to talk about today.

dad_car

My father taught me I could say, “I love you” without hesitation, without expectation, and without fear. Several people have been the benefactor of this gift. I can not imagine loving someone and hesitating for a second in that expression. I thank my father for this gift.

But it’s not what I want to talk about today.

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What I want to talk about is this: My father and I have struggled to see eye to eye. Perhaps it’s the gender or age gap. Perhaps it’s that we have different dominate brain sides. Maybe it’s simply the way we each view the world, or a combination of them all. We struggled. At some point, I told my father that I wanted more from him. That I needed something genuine. I don’t think I gave him a road map on how we might achieve this, and I feel certain he had no idea what I wanted. But he got the essence of it.

Honest discussions have sometimes lead to some terrible arguments. But even these have helped us understand each other a little better.

We still have trouble “getting” each other, but here’s the thing that makes him a good man…
He has sincerely, honestly, and earnestly tried.

And you can’t ask a man for more than that.

I love you, Dad.
Happy Father’s Day : )

Love,
P

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About PamelaDevine

Pamela Devine is a singer songwriter, fine artist, and filmmaker. View all posts by PamelaDevine

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