My Soul Flight is my name for my midlife crisis. I don’t like the term “crisis,” as it denotes catastrophe. It is only catastrophic when one does not use this energy constructively. I actually watched a man die from the choices he made during his midlife crisis. Perhaps his whole life’s purpose was to provide a lesson on how not to have a midlife crisis. I learned from the chaos he created.
One year ago today, I was obese. I was inches away from type ll diabetes. I fiercely did not want to add another medication to the high blood pressure meds I was taking. Each had side effects that were messing with my life. Adding yet another pill was not something I was willing to do. And truth be told, I knew I could not continue to live that way. I was 6 months from turning 50. And it hit me. I might actually live another 30 years. If I do, what kind of quality of life do I want? I made a decision then and there to politely decline the process of aging gracefully. I’m going down kicking and screaming!
On this day a year ago, I said to myself, I’m going to the grocery store and I’m only going to buy items with a low carb count. After picking up and looking at every label of a hundred or more items, a realization I had been avoiding sunk in. I was going to have to give up simple carbs. It meant no wheat, no pasta, no potatoes, no refined sugar. Later, I would dairy to the list. Very quickly, it became easier to say what I was willing to eat than what I was unwilling.
A month later, I added daily exercise. In it, I found an athlete. A sporty girl. A strong girl. A focused girl, a beautiful girl, a sensuous woman. In it, I found catharsis, meditation, drive, the dissipation of worry, fretting, the spiraling of depression. If I had started this alone, I would have vastly improved my life.
At the same time I learned to set goals, focus on them, and work toward their manifestation. These simple steps should be taught in school. I would be a different person today had I learned this in early adulthood.
I lost weight rapidly. In the first 6 months I lost 100 pounds. Over the last 6, I’ve lost 20. This is on top of the 20 I had lost since 2010. In total, I’ve lost 140 pounds. I’m proud of that. I don’t chastise myself for the slowing of my loss over the last 6 months. There’s a reason this last 20 was so slow. There is an emotional aspect to the weight I’ve worn. I don’t fully understand it, but I liken it to a suit of armor. I needed to replace the literal thickness of my armor to the lighter yet denser wall of muscle. I needed to get use to becoming visible again. I needed work through this last 20 with love and patience.
I have 40 more to go.
This next year I will see the fruition of years of hard work, worldwide travel, and success that I have made happen.
It started because I believed in my future me. I want to make a beautiful life and future for myself.
This has been an amazing year.