This Post Sucks. Really.

Portraits by Pamela Devine

Portraits by Pamela Devine

Today’s art: Folk Art Caricature Portraits for Christmas. Contact me for further information!
Today’s Soundtrack: The Santa Song by Pamela Devine My Christmas music single now available on iTunes!

“A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework.” —Ruby Lou Barnhill

Almost exactly 14 years ago when I stepped into my house for the first time, I noticed two things: First, was that this itty bitty little house had a fireplace (!) and secondly, it had a silvery light blue carpet. I dismissed the carpet and thought that it would be one of the first things I replaced. 
I still have it. 
If you are not a home owner, one thing you may not know about it is, there is a clause in all the paperwork one must sign upon closing. It is very small. It reads: As a new homeowner it is your absolute obligation to also take on the responsibility of a dog. 
I dutifully got a dog six months later from the Humane Society. Fay. She is incredibly smart, perfect to cuddle, and she smiles, which charms everyone she meets. But poor Fay! She needed a dog of her own! How cruel am I not to get Fay her own dog, so as not to be lonely? (This was almost as cruel as choosing to only have one child, which of course borders on child abuse.) To make up for the clear and obvious selfish decision I made about the children thing, I got Fay a dog of her own. 
Genny.
Oh, Genny. 
She is my problem child. Suffices to say, she has made it to 12 years old strictly because she is cute. Genny is a schipperke. She has jet black fur. 
Which leads me to question why in this country, a country of creative geniuses, entrepreneurs, and innovators, we have never come up with a useful purpose for dryer lint, Styrofoam packaging, and dog fur. 
You might ask how much can a little 12 pound dog shed? It’s positively unbelievable. It so obnoxious that if I replace these dogs when they go, they will be of poodle lineage. 
Which brings me to one of the greatest regrets I have ever made in my life. We all have them. Of course, I am no exception.
I had a new house, so I needed, no I had to have, a new vacuum cleaner. The old Hoover was, well, old. Since then, I have had 4 vacuum cleaners. If I ever have an opportunity to corner a vacuum cleaner engineer at a party? Oh. The conversation we will have.
My old Hoover didn’t have a filter. It used vacuum bags to collect the dirt. (Oh, Pamela! Say it ain’t so! However did you survive without cyclonic, bag less, HEPA filtered suction?!!! It’s positively Neanderthalic!) I saw the commercials with Mr. Dyson, sitting there staring pensively at his drafting table with furrowed brow, re-acting the clear and defined dilemma of our times: The need for suction excellence. I often shouted at the T.V. “Mister Dyson, no need to contemplate the perfect vacuum cleaner any more, you invented it already! Go eat a cookie!” On top of that, Mr. Dyson has that accent, everyone knows people with accents are smarter. Well, except if the accent comes from New Jersey. Just sayin’. 
 
So that’s how I was convinced that a perfectly good vacuum cleaner wasn’t sucking enough! To any vacuum cleaner designers, there are two reasons why my Hoover was the bomb. First, the distance that the dirt and fur had to travel from floor to capture was almost none. Every one of  the vacuum cleaners I’ve had since (By the way, none was a Dyson, I only brought him up because it is his fault we all had to get new and better vacuum cleaners) has had a labyrinth of hose that the debris must travel before getting to the tank. Why, oh why? Secondly, and here is the real problem, the brush cap ends are not removable. So someone with say, very long hair, someone like me, can’t remove the hair that as spooled itself in the tiny gap between the caps and the torso of the brush. Eventually the spooled hair prevents the brush from turning. Such a simple thing.
So, it is my fault that the vacuum cleaners I have bought do not work as I need them to. However, I would not need to vacuum every other day if I didn’t have a schipperke.
In conclusion, I am ripping up this hideous carpet and living with whatever I find underneath. 
 
The adventure awaits!
Namaste,

Pamela Devine

With love,
Pamela

I am grateful today for my love, for all the painting supplies I have, for my conviction, for my ambition, for the guidance I receive.

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About PamelaDevine

Pamela Devine is a singer songwriter, fine artist, and filmmaker. View all posts by PamelaDevine

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