Staring day 4.
I’m struggling. Not with going back to my addiction, but rather with the feelings it covered up.
I needed the added pain of my city in flames, the discovery that so many people I know are bigots, and a fantastic loneliness to break through my walls.
So, here I am raw and tender. Confused and fearful.
I liken it to what it must feel like to the caterpillar as it morphs into it’s winged state.
I know this part is necessary.
It’s just I’ve been so efficient at avoiding it for many years.
Not this time. I’m going to own it.