The positive of nothing.

At the moment, I am not feeling good or bad.

It’s actually a welcomed reprieve.

For weeks, tension in St. Louis has created a division among us. With great trepidation, I’ve learned many of my friends are bigots. It has been heart wrenching. Bigger than this, I left behind me a toxic situation, albeit one I was ready to do. As expected, it left me confused and lost. It had become an addiction. Also as expected, the pressure to fill the void has eased. This too, is welcomed. My classes are coming to a close. Final projects are underway. Extensions were made to accommodate the loss of class time due to the unexpected closing resulting from the grand jury announcement.

There is definition to the next week, a crescendo of activity and then my semester will be over. I will be able to paint- something I’ve done very little of this year. I’m looking forward to applying what I’ve learned this year to a portrait. Likely, in oil. I have not painted in oil all year. I will be rusty. I will begin, slop some paint on the canvas, curse my lack of skills, swear like a sailor, want to hurl the canvas across the room like a frisbee, followed by a promise to the gods I will never touch a paint brush again, collapse in much needed sleep, then start the process over the next day. At some point, I’ll step back and be shocked that I’ve achieved a likeness.

I’ve become so predictable. 🙂

For now, I’m simply here.

Here is good.

Namaste, my friends. 🙂

Love,
Pamela

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About PamelaDevine

Pamela Devine is a singer songwriter, fine artist, and filmmaker. View all posts by PamelaDevine

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