I just had an online argument on Facebook with a physician friend of mine. He was taking a position I didn’t like, in a way that was not usual for him. When someone does that, I believe they have been unduly influenced by someone else to take that position, specifically in that manner. So, of course that was a carrot dangled I could not refuse to accept.
I posted a link to a credible news article. He countered with a graph. Another doctor chimed in. I attempted to discredit the things they was saying. And then it hit me. I genuinely like this man. He has been kind to me. As a doctor he is stating what he believes will keep people healthy. I don’t need to do this with him. To him.
Oh, arguing… It is the greatest distraction and separator of all.
It is a distraction, because it is completely in your control whether you participate or not. So, if you proceed, and you and your opponent grow angry at each other, you can fester all day over how unfairly he or she treated you. Maybe you won’t get a lick of work done. Maybe you’ll pick up the cigarettes you haven’t touched in days, weeks, years. Maybe it’s a good reason to get drunk. Maybe it’s a great excuse to abuse yourself.
Arguing is the easiest and fastest way to put space between you and another person. Undoubtedly, during an argument painful words are spoken. It gives you an excuse to stay apart.
Arguing is a part of life. How much you participate in it and how much damage you give and receive from it, is completely up to you.
I let down the rope with my friend in our tug of war.
I like him. I want to preserve the friendship.
I like me and I want to be peaceful and loving.
So, you know, it’s a practice.
Once you find you’ve propelled yourself to a place you didn’t want to be,
Just step back, acknowledge it, and set the rope down.
Namaste, my friends.