The fly swatter

I have allowed someone I love to speak to me with disdain, disrespect, and down right hostility.

I’ve allowed it because I didn’t think he really meant it. It was so over the top, so child-like, so unprovoked, and more importantly, untrue, that I haven’t taken it personally.

However, it persists.

This makes for a difficult situation for me spiritually. Even though I know the words he says are untrue, that ultimately he will be sorry he has said them, he said them.

Not once, but repeatedly.

Hurling insults is the quickest way to put space between yourself and another. It’s also the response of someone extremely undeveloped in communication. It might reflect someone unwilling to or incapable of being able to experience an intimate relationship. It is also very possibly the mark of an abuser.

When I feel strong, his hurled words just bounce off and I look at what I said or did that triggered that response. I address it. If however, he has selected a time when I am not feeling so strong, his verbal assault burrows in.

It’s then when I realize this is not okay. I am not immune to this abuse.
I’m not a fly on the wall observing his behavior. I’m a fly being swatted at.

My spiritual path is that I will continue to love him.
It looks like I will have to do it from afar.

Be kind to those you want in your life.
Better yet, be kind to everyone.
If you can’t be kind, at least do no harm.

Namaste, my friends.

Love,
Pamela

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About PamelaDevine

Pamela Devine is a singer songwriter, fine artist, and filmmaker. View all posts by PamelaDevine

One response to “The fly swatter

  • venturyan

    Gotta reach deep where there’s strength you don’t know you have yet. Relationships are things people get over everyday. Impossible to believe when you’re in them, though. Better rethink love. Your days will be bright again!

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