I notice when I am in emotional pain, I am very selfish. I can see nothing but my own pain. What’s more alarming is, I can’t see past it. When you’re in pain and you can’t see past it, you lose hope. It is the very definition of misery.
I’m grieving the loss of a dream. Not just any dream. The dream. The one I never knew I wanted. The one I was so sure, so positive was going to come to fruition. I suppose I’m in a state of shock. At least disbelief. On top of that, I realize I’ve been deferring the end of this dream for literally years now. I suppose it’s simply denial.
The other thing I’m struggling with is my spirituality. I’m not feeling love for anyone, especially myself.
I’m struggling with accepting that. I can’t see my future without my dream. All of projects don’t matter much. I grieve.
Namaste, my friends.