Direction from my former figure drawing professor from last semester is flowing through my head today.
He said to me many times, “Be playful.” “Have fun.” “Enjoy yourself.”
I came close to enjoying drawing, but I can’t find my way back to that. Back to the time when creating was fun. It hasn’t been fun. Not with music, with writing, or with art. It feels like a painful exercise. All of it.
If I look back to when this started, I would say when I started setting goals. I think what has happened is I’m looking to the day when my goals will have come to fruition and I’m putting all kinds of pressure on myself. When you’re only looking at what you have yet to finish, it’s almost impossible to enjoy now. This is a bit of a trap.
This will be the next thing I explore. I have to have goals set up, it’s a lot like a recipe. It gives me the next step I need to take when I don’t have time to think. However! I need to have fun now too. Otherwise, I’m wishing my life away waiting for my life to start.
Namaste, my friends.