I’ve found myself swirling around, not getting much accomplished. I think it’s because of the German in me that I have a strong focus on production. I have goals, I know what to do, and yet.. I’m bogged down by some fermentation that’s going on. I think I’m at another cross road. I find that I’m being pulled, or perhaps shoved, to reevaluate what I want… Again.
I’ve admitted that what is most important to me is my spiritual journey. It’s above all my creative endeavors. It’s above any material need. As cliche as it sounds, I understand life is brief. If you’re a parent, there’s a surreal loss of time. And a fast forwarding of it. Perhaps because one falls into a routine that is required, or feels required, to be even remotely successful at the position.
I know what I want to accomplish, and yet, I hesitate. Allowing old coping mechanisms to reenter my life, likely because this is new territory for me, and frankly I’m scared. I’m lonely. I wish so much that I had an ally who could walk with me down this path.
I am aware that my spiritual path has taken me by the hand and left me at the feet of detachment. There’s no where else to sanely go.
And, ultimately, that’s what unconditional love is. To love without judgment or expectation. It’s an odd thing, this idea of a reciprocal love. This idea of equal exchange when it comes to love. We place the concept of fairness onto love, but ultimately, it is in the giving, the free giving of love, that fills us with the love we need.
This is a practice. There are a thousand distractions that pull us from love. Sometimes I have to practice love minute by minute. I have to pull myself out of my ego, my mess of self pity, my lack of confidence, and point myself in the direction of love.
The practice of love given freely and indiscriminately (and this must include yourself,) is the only way to have enough.
Practicing love allows me to detach, feel complete, and confident about who I am. I am then so much more capable of helping others be who they are.
Namaste, my friends.