I have created a monster.
The monster is my daughter. She corrects the grammar in my texts like she’s a German war criminal. She would say I brought it on myself, and she would be mostly correct. Perhaps you’re like me in that you can’t write even remotely as fast as you think. In doing so, texting or messaging, and that god forsaken thing we all have a love hate relationship with: autocorrect, makes for some pretty sloppy, and often abbreviated communication.
I live in suburban St. Louis, Missouri now, but for a time, we lived in an itty bitty town about 30 miles south called Herculaneum. One day she came home and said the non-word, “ain’t.” When at 18 months, she chanted the F word as loud as she could like a song bird in the morning, in the middle of the isle of a Midwest suburban grocery store, I had a strategy. Distract her and drown her misspeak out with the sound of my own voice. I had no creative or gentle strategy for the word “ain’t” coming from the sweet angelic voice of my 6 year old cherubic daughter. So, I tried not to panic, yet found myself declaring in a loud and strained voice, “Oh, no! You will not say, ‘ain’t ‘. It is not a real word. It makes you sound unintelligent and that would misrepresent you!” I remember her wide big brown eyes, searching to understand the severity of her deed, poised to shed a tear for disappointing me. I knew I had to lighten the mood, but it was the word, “ain’t” for god’s sake!
So, she might say her childhood involved my acting a lot like a German war criminal when it came to grammar. Hmmm…what goes around comes around.
But oddly, it’s rather flattering that she thinks I am perfect in my communication and it’s just been lately that I’ve been messing up. Truth be told, I have always had to read, reread, set it down and read again later, and then read it out loud, to make sure I had proper spelling, included every word I intended, and used the proper sentence structure. These days, I let Siri read to me. Thank god for Siri. I only worry I will begin to think in Siri’s voice. Ah, but that is a musing for another post.
Just a gentle, or not so gentle, reminder to proof read. 🙂
Namaste, my friends.
P.S. Auto-correct is my enema.