Tag Archives: love

What do you want? 

A friend of mine recently said something cryptic about getting hooked by a distraction that always pulls him away.

He could have been referring to anything: love, success, happiness, peace, satisfaction…

This morning I was thinking about his words wondering what specifially he meant when it occurred to me the only distractions we have, are those we allow. 

If you aren’t sure what you want, everything is an option. Everything is a possibility. Everything is a distraction. 

If you know what you want, very specifically, it becomes your focus, very clearly.

For example, if I say, I will have my album finished by March 5, 2016 at 5 p.m., that’s pretty clear. If I add that it will include 10 songs and all package design, that’s really specific. 

It’s also a declaration. 

Now I know my primary focus for the next three months. So when a distraction presents itself, it will be quickly evaluated. Does it fit with my goals? Will it prevent me from attaining my goals? Will it help me attain my goals? By having a clear definition of my goal, I will have a laser sharp view of where I want to be. All the distractions become part of my periphery.

People often don’t do what they say they want to do because they tumble weed along, evaluating opportunities as they present themselves. This is a little like trying to decide what to eat for dinner when you’re hungry.  The way to create long term success is to plan for it. So…

What do you want? Write it down. Be specific. Let it be your recipe for success. 

Namaste, my friend. 




The down side of pet euthanasia. This is a sad story. 

On Friday, I had to put down another dog. This one was Genny, a fourteen year old schipperke. She had lymphoma. When one puts a dog to sleep one does so to end the dog’s suffering. That is only the reason you do it. It is a wretched process. If I ever have another dying dog, I will only do it if the dog is writhing in pain or profusely bleeding. Genny was neither of those things. She had stop eating on Tuesday and by Friday was nothing but skin and bones. She was living on my cuddles. Over the last two weeks I laid her on my chest a lot. She was never one to lay still for long, so this was special for us both. 

Unfortunately, tragically, the euthanasia process was not reflective of a gentle falling to sleep. The vet at the clinic that day was not the one I had taken my dogs to for fourteen years. This vet was afraid of being bit. She had no confidence. She told me we needed to use a muzzle. I knew this was a bad idea. I should have gotten up and told her I would bring Genny back when my regular vet was there. But I didn’t. 

Genny had never been muzzled and it put her a state of distress. The vet gave her a seditive via injection and it was painful. That coupled with the muzzle, threw Genny in a traumatized state. It scared the crap out of her, literally. I think it caused an instant stroke. Her body went limp instantly, her tongue hung out and her eyes went vacant. I could hear her breathing though. Only then did the muzzle come off for the rest of the procedure. 

The only bright spot is I held her as she died. It was the least I could do for her. 

The idea of controlling the death of the pet is just that, an idea. I chose this because I put my sixteen year old dog to sleep in late August and it was the compassionate procedure that everyone thinks of. That’s because a compassionate competent professional performed the procedure. 

If the practitioner says to muzzle your dog and your dog has never been muzzled, do not do it. 

Find another practitioner. 

Love is often a whisper


I am love.


This is very exciting!

 I can see the finish line!!!!!


Chaos plus.

My life has turned fairly chaotic. My kitchen ceiling collapsed, one of my sweet little dogs died, then the remaining little dog was been diagnosed with lymphoma (poor little darling), school began, and the money chase is just beyond reach, and I’m getting ready to do some new emotional work I do t feel prepared for. 

It feels like driving down an unknown road in the dark during a snow storm. 

Brights on, hyper alert. 

A saving grace is one of my friendships. I’m so grateful to have it.

Namaste, my friend.



If you have an interest in any of these paintings, let’s talk. I need to sell some work immediately.


Forgiveness and love.

I think I have finally figured out how to forgive. 

Years ago I had an unimaginable betrayal from someone I should have been able to trust with my life. It was so unimaginable, that I blocked it from my memory for most of my adulthood. The experience was not absent from my mind altogether, though. I made many decisions based on how best to protect myself from allowing that to ever happen again. Unfortunately, it meant living in an almost constant low-grade level of fear in some areas. It contaminated my perception and gave me a half life. 

A few weeks ago, a series of news stories and life experiences made me question my responses to them. And in a quiet moment, my memory returned. With it, came the understanding I had created a language for my experience that was untrue. I think for the first time since the experience, I’m feeling a release. There is beauty in facing the truth. I did a lot of crying. And sad as I am, I’m also relieved. I made some choices in my fog, that were the right ones.

Another reason this may have been the right time to remember is because of the coping skills I’ve learned and also the spiritual path I walk. 

I’ve talked here a lot about practicing love. I’ve been practicing love for about a year and a half. The simple idea that one faces everyone with love and compassion, regardless of whether they have earned it. By distributing love to everyone, it removes the responsibility of making the judgement of worth. Everyone gets it. It’s surprisingly delightful for you in it’s simplicity. 

It’s not too hard to give love to someone we don’t know. But what about the person who has harmed you? How can you dispense love to him? What about the person you know given the chance will hurt you again? 

If you can figure out how to dispense love to a person who has harmed you, you have taken up with forgiveness. You have walked the same path. And the way to do it is to focus on the love. Stay with the positive. Look for the bright spots. Look for the joy. Look for the beauty. It’s okay to do this from a distance. It’s okay to do it without any contact. It’s okay to do it in a safe way. 

Forgiveness once seemed unattainable for me. Now I see it’s simply the act of giving love when it is the last thing that seems reasonable, and yet, love is always the right choice. 

Forgiveness = love.

Pretty simple.

Namaste, my friend.