Tag Archives: writer

Fear and it’s side effects. 

  
When we are uncomfortable, when we are anxious, when we are in pain, when we feel like a victim, we are often coming from a position of fear. We fear what we can’t control. 

We fear the aquistion and retention of love.

We fear pain.

We fear death.  
Almost all of our actions come from one of these three fears. 

Someday, I’ll write a thesis on this, for now I’ll let you ponder it.

The remedy to fear is to remind yourself that you are wholly loved right now without regard to anything that you do, what your roles are, how much you’ve accumulated, how you appear, what your knowledge is, how old you are, or whether or not another single person knows you exist. 
By virtue of being on this planet, you were designed. 

You are made of love. 

Here’s the important question:

What will you do with this love?

 
Namaste, my friend. 

Love,

Pamela

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Validated, acknowledged, loved, reflected.

The concept of talking to someone about your pain, struggles, confusion, perception – is an interesting one. Why do we need to be heard this way? Perhaps, we hope the other will say you have every reason to feel as you do. Validated. We need to know we are aren’t alone, both in the way we feel and literally. Acknowledged. The idea that the journey will not have to be traveled without any like-minded companions. Loved. Maybe it’s also to hear the thoughts spoken so they come out of your mind and back in through your ears, this time with the response of the other person listening. Then your listener can mirror your words back to you. Reflected.

What ever specifically it is, over-all it is a release. This release happens when another is there to witness it.

Writing can often offer a similar catharsis. This is immeasurably invaluable when there is no one available to listen. It is so effective, it can become a way to avoid being social and connecting with another in a trusting and intimate way. 

Perhaps you can relate, dear writer. 🙂 

The time has come for me to talk to another. I believe it will be invaluable. 

Namaste, my friend. 

Love,

Pamela


Daily haiku #Haiku #minipoem #poem

There’s profit in fear.

Here’s the only remedy:

Look for the beauty. 

  


On Breaking a first date…

There are only two reasons to break a first date:

I) You have died between the time the date was made and the time of said date, therefore you literally can not be there.

2) You didn’t want to go on the date. 

There are no other reasons. 


Finally. A portfolio.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  I can partly blame it on a lack of ease as my WordPress app is not saving drafts and is generally acting buggy. The other reason is I’ve been doing a lot of feeling lately. Feelings I have deferred for many years. I can only say that while this is progress, at the moment it feels pretty horrible. I have spent a great deal of time alone this summer and now I can see the benefit of it. Sometimes one simply needs to get a bit quiet and it won’t take long for things to come to the surface. 

This has been a difficult year. One of losses, and there is more to come. What I’m learning about loss, is that it is not only inevitable, it is right that something have a life span. A beginning, middle, and end. Otherwise we may not move from the place where we are. We may not grow to our full height. 

I have also come to the understanding that indecision kills opportunity. I have been mired in indecision regarding where I’ll go when I transfer to a 4 year university. My only real options are private schools. The cost is weighing me down, yet I see no other option. In talking with the head of the department of one of the school’s I’m looking into, he suggested I send him my transcripts and provide a portfolio. The latter had not yet been tackled. Honestly, I didn’t think I had enough material to represent myself. This request forced me to consider it. Off the top of my head, I thought of 5 projects and as I continued, I learned the hosting site offered support for music and film, too. Before I knew it I had more than enough material and I think it represents my creative skills well. The best part is while I have zero dollars to show for all my hard work, I have the actual work to show for myself and these tangibles will assist me in showing my capabilities. 

So, here it is. Presented very simply and without fanfare. 🙂 

www.behance.com/pameladevinecreative 

Namaste, my friends.

Love,

Pamela


Father’s Day

On Father’s Day, I never feel I can say enough, or give enough, to my dad. First, like many fathers he needs, nor wants, anything. If you give him chocolate, he’ll eat too much, as we all do, and it will give him a round of pain in his foot. If you give him a book, he’ll tell you he could have borrowed it from the library. A restaurant gift card? He’ll happily tuck it in his wallet and then spend it on you the next time you’re having dinner together. So, like other years, my gift to my father are words.

My father has presented me with something of a dilemma. You know we choose our partner in life based on the traits of our parents. He has given me a near impossible ideal to look for in a partner.

For example, my father enjoys conversation. I have found most men endure it. They tolerate it. My dad and I can talk for 2 hours and only stop because we recognize it has become excessive. Because my dad bonds with people by talking with them, I thought men did this. They don’t. At least not the men I’ve met so far.

Another is my father is never mean. Not even when he’s really pissed. And I have seen him really pissed. (It’s usually something I’ve said…) I’ve learned and tried to follow his method of anger management because, disagreements turn out better, far better, with his method. I have not met a man who isn’t mean when he’s feeling threatened in some way.

How about this one? His sense of fairness. He can discern what is fair and from that analysis, implement that assessment unwaveringly.

And this? Intelligence. He is always learning. He’ll hear about a thing and it will pique his curiosity. When I was a kid, he’d get the encyclopedia. Now, it’s the internet. He questions everything fed to him. This is an important thing to teach children.

Patient. He is very patient. I’ve tested him thoroughly regarding this. 😊

He is loving. I wish I had a count on how many, “I love yous” have been exchanged between us over the years.

Kind. My father is a kind man. A gentle giant. Maybe it was that he was his full height of 6’2″ by the time he was thirteen that helped with this. All of my friends were intimidated by him because of his height, but liked him after a few conversations.

It just recently occurred to me he set up an impossible ideal. When people ask me why I’m so particular, this is why.

To my amazing father, let’s add another to the count.
I love you.


The Accumulative Effect

I’m thinking about the accumulative effect tonight. 

Here’s the thing: the thing is uncomfortable. Like a pebble in your shoe. By you know, it’s just a pebble.

No big whup.

Maybe the thing is like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Maybe the thing is like the butterfly effect. Ripple effect. The domino effect. 

After a day with that pebble in your shoe, your foot is going to suffer some damage. If you’re lucky, you’ll yell an explitive, stop, kick off your shoe, and pick it up and pour that pebble out of it, before, say, your foot has an infected festering wound. 

The accumulative effect is that idea that things build. They can be either positive or negative. In either, the next builds upon the former. Individually, the thing means little. But together, it’s bigger than the sum of its parts. Think body heat. 

This can be applied positively or negatively. If the thing is a pebble in your shoe, stop and get that thing the hell out of there. 

If it’s one step in a thousand, keep going. 

Namaste, my friends.

Love,

Pamela

P.S. I forgot the snow ball effect.