Daily haiku #Haiku #minipoem #poem

There’s profit in fear.

Here’s the only remedy:

Look for the beauty. 

  

On rowing and trajectory – #motivation

  
If you were on a rowing team and one of the crew was rowing in the opposite direction of everyone else in the boat, and if after kind and reasonable discussion gave way to arguing and non-movement, there is only one thing to do to make the boat move in the direction that was intended. 

And you don’t need to throw him over board, but he has to get off the boat. 

If you’ve stated your case and he’s bent on sabotaging the travels of everyone on the boat, there is no other logical choice. 

Surrounding yourself with people on a similar trajectory is mandatory. If you can’t find anyone on a similar trajectory, you’ll have to go alone. You won’t be a lone forever. 

Remember that. 

Namaste, my friends.

Love,

Pamela

Father’s Day

On Father’s Day, I never feel I can say enough, or give enough, to my dad. First, like many fathers he needs, nor wants, anything. If you give him chocolate, he’ll eat too much, as we all do, and it will give him a round of pain in his foot. If you give him a book, he’ll tell you he could have borrowed it from the library. A restaurant gift card? He’ll happily tuck it in his wallet and then spend it on you the next time you’re having dinner together. So, like other years, my gift to my father are words.

My father has presented me with something of a dilemma. You know we choose our partner in life based on the traits of our parents. He has given me a near impossible ideal to look for in a partner.

For example, my father enjoys conversation. I have found most men endure it. They tolerate it. My dad and I can talk for 2 hours and only stop because we recognize it has become excessive. Because my dad bonds with people by talking with them, I thought men did this. They don’t. At least not the men I’ve met so far.

Another is my father is never mean. Not even when he’s really pissed. And I have seen him really pissed. (It’s usually something I’ve said…) I’ve learned and tried to follow his method of anger management because, disagreements turn out better, far better, with his method. I have not met a man who isn’t mean when he’s feeling threatened in some way.

How about this one? His sense of fairness. He can discern what is fair and from that analysis, implement that assessment unwaveringly.

And this? Intelligence. He is always learning. He’ll hear about a thing and it will pique his curiosity. When I was a kid, he’d get the encyclopedia. Now, it’s the internet. He questions everything fed to him. This is an important thing to teach children.

Patient. He is very patient. I’ve tested him thoroughly regarding this. 😊

He is loving. I wish I had a count on how many, “I love yous” have been exchanged between us over the years.

Kind. My father is a kind man. A gentle giant. Maybe it was that he was his full height of 6’2″ by the time he was thirteen that helped with this. All of my friends were intimidated by him because of his height, but liked him after a few conversations.

It just recently occurred to me he set up an impossible ideal. When people ask me why I’m so particular, this is why.

To my amazing father, let’s add another to the count.
I love you.

The Accumulative Effect

I’m thinking about the accumulative effect tonight. 

Here’s the thing: the thing is uncomfortable. Like a pebble in your shoe. By you know, it’s just a pebble.

No big whup.

Maybe the thing is like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Maybe the thing is like the butterfly effect. Ripple effect. The domino effect. 

After a day with that pebble in your shoe, your foot is going to suffer some damage. If you’re lucky, you’ll yell an explitive, stop, kick off your shoe, and pick it up and pour that pebble out of it, before, say, your foot has an infected festering wound. 

The accumulative effect is that idea that things build. They can be either positive or negative. In either, the next builds upon the former. Individually, the thing means little. But together, it’s bigger than the sum of its parts. Think body heat. 

This can be applied positively or negatively. If the thing is a pebble in your shoe, stop and get that thing the hell out of there. 

If it’s one step in a thousand, keep going. 

Namaste, my friends.

Love,

Pamela

P.S. I forgot the snow ball effect.

Worse than giving up…

  
Daily, I see “don’t give up!” Of course, this is good cheerleading. I recently watched Shia LaBeouf in the scariest (and funniest) motivational speech ever made, numerous times. I think he used every motivational cliche ever spoken. It’s good to laugh at ourselves a bit. The last thing he says is, “If you’re tired of starting over, don’t give up.”

He’s right, of course. 

But here’s something I don’t hear much about: that space between working like a fiend and just prior to the acknowledged moment of defeat. That space.

In the book, Switch: How to Change When Change is Hard, by Chip Heath and Dan Heath, they talk about the “U”. When we have a goal we naively think, I am here. I am going to go there. And that the line between these two are straight. Linear. Nope. According to Chip and Dan success is shaped like a U. When I first read this, I was so happy for the clarification. When I’m in the middle of a painting there is a point with which, I want to take the painting and hurl it like a Frisbee across the room. I hate it, I hate me, I hate the world, I suck, I’m  worthless as an artist. I’m at the bottom of the “U”. Shia would tell me not to give up. But sometimes the best thing you can do it step away for a time. Mostly I plow through, but there are times, especially with portraits, where I have to step away. It’s been true for most of my really large projects, too. It’s safe to say, when I do, it’s easy to lose momentum. 

So, what about those times when you find that you’ve set the project down with every intention of picking it back up, but life gets in the way? You don’t know why but you’re not doing the work. When asked, you say, “Oh, I’m getting back to it soon,” but it just doesn’t happen. 

This space is far more dangerous than the words, “I give up.” This space has a way of growing. The bigger it grows, the harder it is to get momentum back. 

This is important: this space has a meaning. 

It’s important you address it. Is it fear? A lack of resources? Is it a lack of support? Is it a lack of direction? Exhaustion? Because by not addressing the space in between, you may lead yourself right up to the, “I give up.”

If you can identify the reason for the space, you can better make a game plan for it as an obstacle. 

The space can be an obstacle. 

Namaste, my friends. 

Love,

Pamela

Here’s Shia’s video: Shia’s inspiration

Taking time for what matters most at this moment.

  

This morning my disposition and confusion have cleared with the clouds. The sun has a renewing effect on my soul. It’s ironic, as I can’t be in the summer sun directly for more than 15-20 minutes without being burned. And yet, and yet, and yet…beyond the vitamin D infusion, there’s something about that lemon yellow light that fills my heart. Perhaps my dark side has always had a debilitating crush on the sun. 

On days like these, I am filled with piss and vinegar, ready to implement my plans for world domination, and catch up on all that has been neglected during the rumination. (Or should I call it roasting?) I have a flood of inspiration generally, all at once. My muses are bossy and frequently talk over each other. I must remind them, One at a time, please! 

However, life and death happens. And for all my energetic pullings, I am being grounded by Fay, my almost 16 year old dog. She has a tumor in her mouth. Her old body is failing her. Cancer is taking over. I’ve made a decision I want her to die here at home with me by her side. She will be buried in the backyard next to Pooky, the cat I had a love-hate relationship with for 18 years. 

So, I will stay close to home as much as possible for the rest of her days. She can lay next to me as she is now, while I work on my screenplay. I will be giving her extra love and permission to go, thanking her for her companionship, protection, and love she gave to me and my daughter for the last 15 years. Such a sweet gentle soul she has. 

Namaste, my friends.

Love,

Pamela

simplicity is beautiful

 

simplicity
it is quick to delight
it is easy to attain
it is authentic

it is lightness
it is freedom
it is a gift to unwrap
the layers that cover it

what is there, underneath it all?
the essence of being

the truth, naked

the truth in it’s simplicity,
and simplicity, is beautiful.

Some affirmations for you..

Sunflower, early summer of 2014 in an urban field on Delmar Ave, in St. Louis, Missouri where I unexpectedly met one of my Facebook friends for the first time.

I am free

There is time to do everything I need and want to do

I am loved

I am lovable

I am enjoying the fruits of my labor

I am successful 

I am proud of my efforts

I enjoy eating nutrient rich foods

Moving my body centers and balances me with the earth

I take good care of myself

I am learning 

I have more than enough money

I am practicing compassion and love

Opportunities are all around me

For today, I live and love without judgement

_____________________________________

Feel free to add yours in the comments. 🙂 

Namaste, my friends.

Love,

Pamela

Me and my date for the night.

Exciting Saturday night. 🙂

I have a date with a text book.
Neurons and the development of psychology.

The last few days have been a practice in letting go.
Mourning the loss of a dream, the loss of a future
plan/hope/desire has been as difficult as the loss it’s self.

My goal is to stop the spiral before I get too deep.
To take care of myself by eating well and exercising.
To keep moving and getting my work done.

I need to stop looking for answers.
There just aren’t any.

Namaste, my friends.

Love,
Pamela

Fear or excitement?

So lately, I’ve been pretty petrified. I’ve taken on enormous projects that logical people might not. I found that all the little incremental steps have collectively propelled me farther than I have ever been.

I heard it this way: when you first start out, it feels like everything you do is just sliding into a black hole. It’s very difficult to see your progress when it isn’t measurable in an obvious way, like if you could point to money, for example.

I have been slogging away, doing the things I said I was going to do, bit by bit. I will periodically get evidence I’m making progress when I get a message from a respected acquaintance who shares they enjoy my music. When I meet someone who says they know of my work. When I’m asked to participate in an event. Progress is being made. The black hole is filling.

It’s a good thing success happens incrementally. It gives you a chance to catch up with yourself. To consider what needs to happen next. To calm your fears, or to simply accept them.

My friend Said the other day, it’s so easy to turn your fear into excitement. She’s right.

Then I remembered this:
If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.

Here’s to living out of my comfort zone!

Namaste, my friends.

Love,
Pamela