Love is.
It ebbs and it flows.
It soars between hearts.
When we feel it’s presence
It pulls us to it.
When fear sets in
we repel from it.
Love fills us any way.
It does it’s dance
between heart and mind from soul to soul
between heart to heart.
And we know
That’s all there is.
Love is.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I notice when I am in emotional pain, I am very selfish. I can see nothing but my own pain. What’s more alarming is, I can’t see past it. When you’re in pain and you can’t see past it, you lose hope. It is the very definition of misery.
I’m grieving the loss of a dream. Not just any dream. The dream. The one I never knew I wanted. The one I was so sure, so positive was going to come to fruition. I suppose I’m in a state of shock. At least disbelief. On top of that, I realize I’ve been deferring the end of this dream for literally years now. I suppose it’s simply denial.
The other thing I’m struggling with is my spirituality. I’m not feeling love for anyone, especially myself.
I’m struggling with accepting that. I can’t see my future without my dream. All of projects don’t matter much. I grieve.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
First let me say, I do not want to live in a world without vaccines or antibiotics. If we did, many of us would not live long or suffer a long painful healing process.
That being said, there is a pro-vaccination campaign of great magnitude going on right now that is very contrived. Why do I say that? Two reasons. The first is because I’m hearing the same type of speech over and over. The shaming and the scare tactics are a push to get us to be obedient. That means it’s being scripted. Secondly, there is a “me vs they” component to the rhetoric. Today, I saw an article that declared, “have them arrested” in regard to those who choose not to vaccinate. Who exactly will they be arresting? The parents of ill children? Are they asking the family physician to tell law enforcement on them? Or is the author just interested in being controversial so you read his article?
The idea that all vaccines are weighted in the same way troubles me. The best physician I ever had was my daughter’s pediatrician. He retired when she was 12. It was a huge loss to our family. He was honest about everything. He gave me a boat load of information about vaccines, including which ones were vital and which were optional. And there are optional ones, folks. Although you wouldn’t know it based on what we’re hearing today.
This very hard push has me wondering who is behind it?
I don’t know, but it feels like two things:
1. Big pharma is pushing back against disobedient citizens (clearly the number of those who have opted out has grown to a level that has effected their profits.)
2. This feels like another topic to get us divided. Get us fighting amongst ourselves. Then we’re so preoccupied they can do what ever they want.
Again, I don’t want to live in a world without vaccines. But the minute you try to shove all of them down my throat as though each has the same importance as the next, you lose me and I question your motives.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I have allowed someone I love to speak to me with disdain, disrespect, and down right hostility.
I’ve allowed it because I didn’t think he really meant it. It was so over the top, so child-like, so unprovoked, and more importantly, untrue, that I haven’t taken it personally.
However, it persists.
This makes for a difficult situation for me spiritually. Even though I know the words he says are untrue, that ultimately he will be sorry he has said them, he said them.
Not once, but repeatedly.
Hurling insults is the quickest way to put space between yourself and another. It’s also the response of someone extremely undeveloped in communication. It might reflect someone unwilling to or incapable of being able to experience an intimate relationship. It is also very possibly the mark of an abuser.
When I feel strong, his hurled words just bounce off and I look at what I said or did that triggered that response. I address it. If however, he has selected a time when I am not feeling so strong, his verbal assault burrows in.
It’s then when I realize this is not okay. I am not immune to this abuse.
I’m not a fly on the wall observing his behavior. I’m a fly being swatted at.
My spiritual path is that I will continue to love him.
It looks like I will have to do it from afar.
Be kind to those you want in your life.
Better yet, be kind to everyone.
If you can’t be kind, at least do no harm.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
Loving myself works miracles in my life.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I learned something important about myself yesterday.
I think the only way I am, or can be, a contributor to the community, or to society, is in the way I currently do it- through music, art, and written word.
When I’m in a group or crowd and one or more people gets outraged, I want to shut that down. Especially when it’s about racism. It’s so big, it’s so historic, it’s so ingrained in our culture, and it’s so profitable, it isn’t going away anytime soon.
One thing I firmly believe is that analyzing the emotional history of it, and festering on the unfairness of it, and debating with those who deny it exists, is exactly what those for whom it profits want us to do.
When a thing that is clearly unfair lingers decade after decade, there is a motivation. It isn’t hate. Hate must be taught to each new born child. The hate taught is manipulation by someone. The puppet master. Who gains the most by this hatred continuing? It’s all about the money.
As I write this, I feel pretty sure a thesis is forming to prove this theory.
Some of us contribute to society by telling it’s story. By making sense of it.
But like anything in life, festering over why something is chronically unfair? That makes us each a victim of it.
I can’t sit there. I can’t stay there.
I want people to look deeper. Consider the push and pull behind it.
This where we can rip it apart, examine, and deconstruct it.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I have to relearn how to comprehend a textbook. As I think of it, maybe I need to learn how to comprehend a textbook.
This morning amounts to the effort of comprehending my general psychology text. Thankfully, I find this topic interesting.
I am going to be challenged a lot this semester.
As it should be.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I was reminded today, that I can’t do a thing just for the reward without getting pretty neurotic.
I started feeling panicked I couldn’t live up to what I had done last semester or to live up to all the things I’ve committed myself to. After all, if this is going right, then things should continue to get harder and harder. But today I remembered, if I just concentrate on learning and enjoying the learning, working and enjoying the work, then the grades will follow, the completion will follow. It’s impossible for it not to.
Learn, love, repeat.
That’s about it.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I’m quite blue today. My motivation escapes me today.
I did want to say thank you for reading my posts.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
I choose to surround myself with people who are respectful and kind to others, to me, and to themselves.
It’s so easy.
Namaste, my friends.
Love,
Pamela
Pamela Devine 